Tom: Has life as a Liverpool fan just tobogganed downhill since Raheem Sterling scored that screamer against Norwich City at the tail end of 2013-14? Liverpool had the most prolific frontline since the Prem moved to a 38 game season in Suarez and Sturridge, Coutinho inconsistently budding into what he’s now and Sterling emerging from a player who was ready to be sent out on loan just a few months prior to Europe’s hottest young talent. Since then:
– Chelsea and Palace happened (RIP)
– Suarez bit another live human being (again) and moved on to Barcelona
– Liverpool bought Rickie Lambert and Mario Balotelli
– Sturridge gets hurt on international duty in a completely avoidable situation
– Sturridge gets hurt again just days before he returns
– Palace happened again
– Steven Gerrard announces he’s moving on at the end of the season
– Sturridge actually does return
– Liverpool manufacture just enough hope for the fanbase to perk up again only to..
– … get drubbed by United at Anfield (on my birthday…) in the most lopsided one goal game in the history of football
– Sturridge gets hurt again
– The team unravels more and more as the season dragged on like a disastrous family gathering culminating with…
– …a 6-1 loss to Stoke City on Gerrard’s last game as a Liverpool player
– All of this Sterling shite
Luke: And I’ve just spilt soup all over my carpet. Things don’t get much worse. But in all seriousness, it’s been a strange, strange 16 months. I think we’ve gotten over the worst of it though, mainly because surely it can’t get much worse. All of the talk of Sturridge (what talk there has been, anyway) have been that this surgery has been successful and he’ll make a solid return, and our signings have been promising, so hopefully we’ll have a good year. I don’t envisage us having any more Sterling’s in the ranks, so we should all be a little happier come this time tomorrow.
Tom: Agreed, how could it get any worse than having a title slip away and slip into sixth? Maybe not slip. Trip, fall down the stairs, roll out the door and down a hill into thorns… into 6th. Finish my sentence: Raheem Sterling is a….
Luke: Haha, OK, I like this game. So, Raheem Sterling is a horrible little weasel. Hows that? I could have gone much heavier, but he’s very nearly City’s problem now. What are your overriding emotions on this scenario?
Tom: The walls behind me have received the vibes microwaving off my aura, the wall directly to my 6 has ignited into a burning inferno. A tornado sparks behind me, chairs, cups, my mattress, all swirling about my room as I levitate into the air with rage… Nah. I mean, I’m mad. But as a dumb, proud man, my stance is if you don’t want to be here, then out you go. I’ll always feel Liverpool is king: you should want to be here. If he wanted to leave and City never matched our valuation, I’d toss his ungrateful, greedy ass straight into the reserves. But thankfully Manchester City print money. I bet he’ll become fast friends with Samir Nasri. They’ll talk about money and sit around in it, bathe in it and what not. He’s made that guy’s Arsenal exit look graceful. Absolutely shocking. I wonder if his turbulent illness will affect his medical. Or whatever excuse he wants to synthesize today.
Luke: It would be totally hilarious if his ‘illness’ did affect his medical. Or he got to Manchester City to sign a contract and they just said “are you kidding? You’ve acted like a tosser, there’s no way we’re going to sign you” – I’d love to see his apology to Brendan then.
Tom: Could you see him playing in, like, Abu Dhabi in three years because they were the highest bidding side? I could. Then he’ll say “It’s not about the money, I just want to win trophies and here is the best place to do so…”
Luke: Haha, to be honest, I can see him stagnating slightly at City and him going to Chelsea in 4 years and Mourinho getting the absolute best out of him, just to cheese us off even more. He is really clearly arsed about the money, so why doesn’t he just avoid the topic completely. Plus, I’m not arsed it’s about money, it’s his job, but it’s the rest of the shit that his camp have come out with. He’s absolutely fucked Rodgers over, who has only been good for him. Because remember, yes, Sterling should be on more than £35k a week, of course, but Rodgers doesn’t control the contract offers. So to throw all his effort back in his face is a sly, sly move. Like Rodgers or not, he has helped Sterling because a potential world-class star, just as he turned Suarez into one.
Tom: I was absolutely seething when I read the “sources” claim he’s said “I can’t play for Rodgers.” If that’s true, goodness. That inferno and tornado combo might become a reality. Before we continue this hate party, I’ve seen some delusional fans act like he wasn’t and isn’t very good. He’s a good footballer. He’ll be good for City in all likelihood but there is a chance he’ll stall, which is different than to say he’s not good. Jack Rodwell and Scott Sinclair stalled, but they weren’t playing in the Champions League before they moved. He’s better than those two were and won’t be signed to make up the numbers of English players on the City roster, he’ll be expected to start week in and week out. All in all, £50million is a fair price for what he could be, a little on the steep side, which is why I’m glad how Liverpool has handled this whole storm of shite.
Luke: I think as a club, we’ve nailed this current situation we’re in, but I think we can only get a 5.5/10 because, in all seriousness, we could have tied Sterling down to a larger, longer contract last year and this wouldn’t be being said. Then I suppose the point would still be that Sterling, for how good he was, is clearly a bit of a snake. Yet, he’s a good player, and at some point we need to stop losing our best players because it’s beginning to get silly now.
Tom: Well said. Sticking with scales of 10, you get a 9.5/10 for how you’ve summed it up. You’re right, we’re congratulating the club for reacting well to a mistake they made. The club walks into a room– for aesthetics we’ll just envision this scenario involves Ian Ayre. Ian walks into a room, knocks over the dining room table and sets it back up beautifully. If we weren’t in the room when he knocked it over, we’d think he’d done a great job. But as we’re standing in the corner the whole time, you and I start asking each other who invited this scrub.
Luke: Exactly, superbly summed up by yourself too! I also think that there is a level of pessimism purely because our record of spending hasn’t been great. Look at Southampton, they’ve lost a lot of their best players (to us, mainly) but they’ve replaced them well and kicked on. Surely they can’t continue to do that, but you’ve got to wonder on our scouting as well as out deal-makers as to why we can’t buy appropriately. Which I suppose then brings us onto a lack of plan, which I do feel may have been remedied this summer with what we’ve changed at the club.
Tom: Totally. At least the pessimism isn’t created out of thin air, there’s substance behind that. But you’ve just got to hope they’ll do right with this money. Some supporters didn’t want to see him go because what happens to the next star to come through for us? Are we going to let them walk? People say we should have made an example out of Sterling and made him stay, but Southampton lost half their first XI and once Morgan Schneiderlin wanted to leave, they told him enough was enough he had to at least wait a season if he was going to go. And he didn’t kick up a fuss. So I don’t think the club will be in danger of Coutinho demanding to leave next summer, then Firmino the year after that.
Luke: True, but the truth of the matter is that the longer we’re out of the Champions League and the longer we’re out of the running for winning the title, our best players will leave. Until we get to a point where our best players are no longer wanted by more successful clubs, of which then we’ll have a really big problem. A funny way to look at it, but also a different spin.
Tom: Absolutely. Whatever. Fingers crossed for Lacazette. It won’t happen, but I’m ready to be hurt again.
Luke: Aye, well with the point on strikers I think we just need to either shit or get off the potty when it comes to Benteke. And on that note, it’s time for us to get off this potty and wrap it all up. Thanks to Tom for his help and for another enjoyable bit of words, and thanks to yourselves for reading. In a bit Sterling.
